Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Randomize