I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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