I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I will pee on everything he values.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize