I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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