I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think people are normalizing furries
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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