he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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