Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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