This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
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After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
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Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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