There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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