the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize