The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize