so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize