I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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