yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
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im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
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What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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