She is in my trunk
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize