chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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