I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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