Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize