I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
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I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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