There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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