So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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