capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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