my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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