I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
MIDGETS
????
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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