Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I thought that was really considerate

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  (586): I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating' (586): I thought that was really considerate http://tfl.nu/g1h7
  Replies (3) Good night (2292) Bad night (578)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.

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  (918): I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell. http://tfl.nu/i4f8
  Replies (26) Good night (573) Bad night (1306) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.

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  (202): remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER. http://tfl.nu/2j9f
  Replies (3) Good night (2046) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.

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  (609): I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk. http://tfl.nu/79zz
  Replies (70) Good night (5556) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

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  (310): When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth http://tfl.nu/ve5l
  Replies (17) Good night (4487) Bad night (868) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.

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  (912): This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face. http://tfl.nu/ozn3
  Replies (39) Good night (1330) Bad night (6316) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.

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  (905): I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation. http://tfl.nu/5c1o
  Replies (21) Good night (1072) Bad night (4061) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it

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  (661): I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it http://tfl.nu/bivl
  Replies (15) Good night (1098) Bad night (6559) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?

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  (913): high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life? http://tfl.nu/lv3r
  Replies (10) Good night (3581) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.

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  (231): You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes. http://tfl.nu/m034
  Replies (3) Good night (1692) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.

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  (913): He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman. http://tfl.nu/kv33
  Replies (7) Good night (671) Bad night (1473)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now

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  (204): Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now http://tfl.nu/dal2
  Replies (15) Good night (435) Bad night (2440) Order T-Shirt
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  (863): View more from Florida

  We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.

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  (863): We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth. http://tfl.nu/zjcp
  Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.

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  (512): While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before. http://tfl.nu/erll
  Replies (7) Good night (1786) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.

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  (778): Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here. http://tfl.nu/7as8
  Replies (6) Good night (1262) Bad night (394) Order T-Shirt

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