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Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
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