I wannas sexs uuuuu
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize