If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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