I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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