meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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