I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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