My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize