I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
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I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
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And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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