I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize