This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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