Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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