Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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