I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
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Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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