I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize