I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize