I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
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didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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