I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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