if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize