Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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