This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize