the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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