dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The struggles of a small town man whore
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize