Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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