i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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