I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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