Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize